What counselling methods do I use?

I understand that your counselling experience is highly valuable and utterly unique. No two people have the same journey, and I take pride in catering to your specific needs and preferences. While I may use certain frameworks to guide our work together, your journey will remain entirely your own. My goal is to empower you to achieve life-changing goals while feeling heard, supported and respected every step of the way. 

Tree with roots - what we think we are working on, whilst also showing where the real problem is

Family of Origin

Tony Robbins once asked, “When you were a child, who did you need to become to get the love from the person you craved it from the most?” This question highlights the importance of our family of origin (FOO) and how it impacts our lives. Our experiences with our FOO teach us how to love, be loved, and navigate relationships.

We thrive on connection and belonging. We rely on our caregivers and families to show us how to ‘be’ in the world – internally and externally. As humans, we need love to survive. 

We learn how to let people treat us, how to deal with problems, and what we value in others and ourselves. Our FOO shape our beliefs, emotions, and behaviours. It shows us how to treat money, food, sex, alcohol and drugs, and how to parent our own children. FOO spills into adult relationship styles, otherwise known as attachment styles. 

Attachment and Earned Attachment

Attachment theory is crucial to helping you overcome emotional struggles and improve your relationships. Attachment theory is a psychological model that explains how early childhood experiences with caregivers shape our ability to form and maintain healthy relationships throughout our lives.

Our earliest interactions with our caregivers create an internal working model of relationships that influences our behaviour and beliefs about ourselves and others. We learn how to trust ourselves and others, if people are safe to share our lives with, or if we can ask others for help. 

If we have a secure attachment with our caregivers, we are more likely to have positive self-esteem and feel comfortable forming close relationships with others. However, if we have an insecure attachment, we may struggle with feelings of anxiety or avoidance in relationships.

Our work together can help you work through childhood attachment wounds by understanding them. Our therapeutic relationship will model a secure relationship by practising authenticity and honesty, plus repairing any issues or disagreements. 

Parts Work

A part of me wants to do this, but another part wants to do that“. I believe is essential for achieving lasting emotional and psychological well-being, we need to explore our internal worlds. Parts work is an approach that can help you reconnect with wounded and protector parts allowing self-compassion and a new understanding of self.

Through parts work, I can help you identify and understand different internal parts, including those that may have been neglected or repressed. Remember, sometimes it is not what happened to you but also what didn’t happen to you. You may have needed more love or to be heard; it is okay to admit and say that. By exploring and working with these different parts of yourself, I can help you to integrate them into a more cohesive and healthy sense of self.

mediation and parts work

Mindfulness Practices

Do you know what your body feels like when you are sad, angry, frustrated, or scared? Your body is talking to you before you feel an emotional reaction. Learning to listen to your body is an important part of counselling work. If you deny emotions or memories, your body will tell you about them anyway. 

Think about a basketball in a pool. You try pushing it down, sitting on it, and doing anything to keep the ball under the water. The ball has a mind of its own and keeps forcing its way to the surface. When the ball finally breaks free of the water pressure, it will explode with force breaking through the water as if nothing was holding it down. The ball is your emotions and body sensations. Your emotions and feelings can only stay buried under the water for so long before they explode.

We will work together to name feelings and understand them. I will teach you how to listen to your body and honour it. It begins with awareness and willingness to feel. With body awareness, trauma can move through the body as your nervous system holds it all. Trauma has a way of making you feel too much or nothing at all. This relates to emotions or sex. 

jigsaw puzzle showing life as a whole and how we are made up by parts of us

Psychosocial – your world, your life

The big fancy word for looking at someone’s life as a whole is ‘psychocial’. This includes mind, body, soul, work, home, family, friends, health, finances, and relationships. Looking at your life like a completed jigsaw instead of just the edge or corner pieces can help you understand why you feel the way you do. Nothing in your life operates as a single unit. 

Everything listed above and what is happening today often impacts how we feel about events in your life. Your life deserves to be honoured for all that it is and all that it can become.

Ways we can connect

  • Phone
  • Email
  • Skype/zoom
  • Face to face
  • Private outdoor settings
  • Smartphone facetime calls

**Please make sure any phone or zoom calls are in total private without distractions**

I have a deep passion for helping people, whether you’re an individual, a couple, or exploring alternative relationship styles. My approach is centred on understanding your unique needs and tailoring methods and techniques to guide you through your challenges. I am genuinely dedicated to being there for you and assisting you in resolving those inner conflicts that can weigh heavily on your soul. Together, we can work towards a future that is not just positive and bright but also inspired and fulfilling.

Reach out to me today. You’re not alone.